REJECTION

REJECTION 

© 2014 Ken Finton

Rejection is often more painful than physical wounds and physical pain. It effects our entire state of being. Rejection can linger and fester like an infected wound. Even mild rejections can send us into feelings of isolation and wound our sense of self worth. Brain scans show that the very same areas of the brain are activated during feelings of rejection as those areas that experience real physical pain.

Rejection has deep roots. Even in early human history our survival depended upon inclusion in the social structure of the tribe. Rejection and ostracism could easily result in death.  Our brains evolved to feel rejection in our pain receptors.

Despite the many thousands of years of human experience, modern humans still live in tribes. We tend to call these tribes families and groups. But they are tribes none-the-less. Our brains developed an early warning system so that rejections felt painful enough to make us change our behavior before total ostracism could occur.

We learn early that rejection is a fact or life and we must learn to deal with it. We learn that rejection comes in different degrees of severity and from many different sources. However, even mild rejection can cause chain reactions of memories and painful experiences to recur in the psyche. 

Rejections destabilizes us. Belonging is our most precious asset and rejection causes us to lose the urge to belong. We withdraw. In severe cases, we can become angry. We can feel the need to strike back – sometimes going as far as mass shootings, aggression or self destruction. 

Through my illness I learned rejection. I was written off. That was the moment I thought, Okay, game on. No prisoners. Everybody's going down. - Lance Armstrong

Rejection causes self doubt. It is a blow to our self-esteem. Yet, if you think about it, a runaway sense of self-esteem is not something to be desired. Social living requires that we temper our self-esteem. Rejection is a tool to keep our expectations and feelings of self worth in check and balanced.

Feelings of rejection do not respond to reason. We either pick ourselves or others apart looking for reasons for rejection. Perhaps we will find a real fault we need to correct and perhaps we will imagine a fault that does not really exist and make real. Rejection lowers our intelligence and our ability to think clearly.

That we will ponder the reasons for rejection is a foregone conclusion: that we will come up with a reasonable solution is not. 

Rejection is a universal problem. 

Marilyn Monroe said, “Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection.”  [We all know where that led.]

Billy Joel said, “I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.”

Bob Dylan said, “The world don’t need any more songs … As a matter of fact,  if nobody wrote any songs from this day on, the world ain’t gonna suffer for it.  Nobody cares.” 

I am not certain when Dylan said this, but it had to be during some period when he felt rejected. What he says is both true and false. True, the world does not need any more songs. There are already masterpieces enough for any occasion. But it is false the world is not going to suffer from the lack of new songs. Songs write and reflect the essence of an era.

The history of our lives is our journey through rejection and acceptance. Some of us are far more adept at recovery and recreation that others. Michael York said, “I think that you have to believe in your destiny; you have to believe that you will succeed. You will meet a lot of rejection and it is not always a straight path. There will be detours––so enjoy the view.”

Writers, musicians and artists are old hands at dealing with rejection, yet every rejection is different and every move that we must make to overcome the associated emotions of rejection and pain are unique to the moment.

Taking time to process the rejection is essential. Big rejections do not go away easily. All rejections have a cumulative effect us. Perhaps only time itself will resolve the problem. Talking with a trusted friends helps, so long as we do not do it incessantly. Wallowing in misery is never good. When we find ourselves doing that, we need to do something else.  

Airing our feelings of rejection on the Internet are counter productive. People do not want to hear about our emotional distress.  Besides, the Internet never forgets and we will be stuck with our poor attitudes for much longer than we think. Your next boss or your next lover might get a bad opinion of the way you handle problems.

The quicker we deal with rejection and move on, the happier we will be. Most rejections are not personal, so we do not need to make them personal.

Knowing when to quit is hard, but essential. Some goals that we set for ourselves are bound to be unrealistic. We have millions of goals in a lifetime. Most of them are unrealistic. With time and the help others around us, we learn to know the difference and teach ourselves to lead balanced lives.

We need to realize that we give out rejection as much as we receive it. Giving a person a specific reason for a rejection not only makes them feel better, but we are better people for having this ability.

If we cannot get rid of our feelings or rejection, can we treat it like pain and take medications for it? Functional magnetic resonance tests show that people who take acetaminophen daily for three weeks have less pain related activity in their brains that people on placebos. Daily doses of acetaminophen, it seems, can cure some rejection pains.

FIGHTING SUPER BUGS WITH RAW HONEY

www.public-domain-image.com

©2014 Ken Finton

Because so much and so many antibiotics have been used in raising livestock (they feed the stock with  it), this over-use has created  strains of antibiotic resistant ‘super bugs’. 

Now scientists have renewed their studies of the natural antibiotic that has been around longer than the human race.  This natural antibiotic is honey. “In fact, honey was traditionally used to fight infection up until around the early 20th century. Around this time, honey was forgotten and predominantly replaced with penicillin, but is now regaining its former popularity as the world continues to become more conscious to the dangers of pharmaceutical drug use (which now kill more individuals per year than traffic accidents).” - Anthony Gucciardi, editor of “Natural Society”.

The journal Microbiology reports that: “In lab tests, just a bit of the honey killed off the majority of bacterial cells — and cut down dramatically on the stubborn biofilms they formed. It could also be used to prevent wounds from becoming infected in the first place.”

Manuka Honey 

“Fifteen antibiotics were tested with and without sublethal concentrations of manuka honey against each of MRSA and Pseudomonas aeruginosa using disc diffusion, broth dilution, E strip, chequerboard titration and growth curves,” wrote the study authors in PLoS ONE. “Five novel antibiotic and manuka honey combinations were found that improved antibacterial effectiveness in vitro and these offer a new avenue of future topical treatments for wound infections caused by these two important pathogens.” - Christina Sarich, Natural Society

Dr. Meschwitz, who works with the Natural Society, says that honey acts using a combination of components toxic to bacterial cells, including osmotic effect, high sugar content, polyphenols, acidity, and hydrogen peroxide. “Honey may also disrupt quorum sensing, which weakens bacterial virulence, rendering the bacteria more susceptible to conventional antibiotics.” 

This information can be used to pave the way for honey to be used as a natural alternative in fighting infection. It can even prevent the infection in the first place. 

Not all honey products are the same. Manuka Honey is extra special and can be used to fight heart disease. This is a honey from Australia and New Zealand made by bees feeding on the Mauka bush, which is a natural antibiotic. It is even used to cure acne.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mānuka_honey

Medicinal properties

A 2002 review found that although the antibacterial activity of honeys (including mānuka honey) had been demonstrated in vitro, the number of clinical case studies was small. The review concluded that there was a potential for its use in "the management of a large number of wound types".[6] A 2008 Cochrane Review found that honey may help improve superficial burns compared to standard dressing, but there was insufficient evidence from studies, many of which were on mānuka honey, to be conclusive, and the use of honey for leg ulcers provided no benefit. The review found that there was insufficient evidence for any benefit in other types of chronic wounds, as all of the data came from a single centre of research, and that "data from trials of higher quality found honey had no significant effect on healing rates or had significantly slower rates of healing".[7] Methylglyoxal is the major antibacterial component of mānuka honey.[8] Other smaller antibacterial effects are expected to arise from the osmolarity and pH of the mānuka honey.[7] In vitro studies indicate methylglyoxal is an effective antimicrobial agent against forms of MRSA,[9][10] although studies have not been done in humans.[6][7]

Mānuka honey, alongside other antibacterial products, does not reduce the risk of infection following treatment for ingrown toenails.[11]

Manuka honey can be found online in medical concentrations. However, beware that counterfeit product is on the shelves.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mānuka_honey

Counterfeiting and other price-related problems

In the wake of the high premium paid for mānuka honey, the majority of product now labelled as such worldwide is counterfeit or adulterated. According to research by UMFHA, the main trade association of New Zealand mānuka honey producers, whereas 1,700 tons of mānuka honey are made there annually representing almost all the world's production, some 10,000 tons of produce is being sold internationally as mānuka honey, including 1,800 tons in the UK.[12]

In governmental agency tests in the UK between 2011 and 2013, a majority of mānuka-labelled honeys sampled lacked the non-peroxide anti-microbial activity exclusive to mānuka honey. Likewise, of 73 samples tested by UMFHA in Britain, China and Singapore in 2012-13, 43 tested negative on the same count. Separate UMFHA tests in Hong Kong found that 14 out of 55 mānuka honeys sampled had been adulterated with syrup. In 2013 the UK Food Standards Agency asked all trading standards authorities to alert all mānuka honey vendors to the need for legal compliance.[12]

There is a confusing range of systems for rating the strength of mānuka honeys. In one UK chain in 2013, two products were labelled “12+ active” and “30+ total activity” respectively for “naturally occurring peroxide activity” and another “active 12+” in strength for “total phenol activity”, yet none of the three was labelled for the strength of the non-peroxide antimicrobial activity specific to mānuka honey.[12]

One reason for bona fide mānuka honeys to vary in the last regard is that the bees cannot be forced to forage only on mānuka flowers, especially given the pressures toward maximal exploitation of known blooms. So intense is the demand for the correct trees that New Zealand honey farmers have been using helicopters to locate them and deploy hives nearby.[12] There have been increasing turf disputes between producers operating close to large mānuka tree clumps, and also cases reported of many hives being variously sabotaged or stolen.[13]

At least one British supermarket has taken to stocking jars of the honey in tagged security cassettes, such were the losses from shoplifting.[14]

Honey sold in stores can actually be fake or of inferior quality. Raw organic honey is the best. The less processed it is the better it is for you. The very best is the local honey produced by your neighbors or in your own hives. Most cities permit at least one or two backyard hives.

“Last year, we decided to raise bees and got our own hive. Our bees did not survive the winter, but we got in touch with a local bee rescue and this year we have two hives of native Colorado bees that have evolved to survive the harsh winter. We harvested the honey left in the hive in the spring and one hive produced almost three gallons of honey. All we had to do was strain it through a screen and bottle it.

“We have personally found that the use of honey from our own hives reduces and eliminates allergies. By using our own honey, the local pollens that cause allergies and stuffy sinus no longer bother us because we build up a resistance and the honey prevents  infection and allergic reactions.”  - The Fintons

Credit: © martinlee / Fotolia

April 13, 2011

Honey can reverse antibiotic resistance, study suggests

Date:  April 13, 2011

Source: Society for General Microbiology  

Summary:

Manuka honey could be an efficient way to clear chronically infected wounds and could even help reverse bacterial resistance to antibiotics, according to new research.

Manuka honey could be an efficient way to clear chronically infected wounds and could even help reverse bacterial resistance to antibiotics, according to research presented at the Society for General Microbiology's Spring Conference in Harrogate.

Professor Rose Cooper from the University of Wales Institute Cardiff is looking at how manuka honey interacts with three types of bacteria that commonly infest wounds: Pseudomonas aeruginosa, Group A Streptococci and Meticillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Her group has found that honey can interfere with the growth of these bacteria in a variety of ways and suggests that honey is an attractive option for the treatment of drug-resistant wound infections.

Honey has long been acknowledged for its antimicrobial properties. Traditional remedies containing honey were used in the topical treatment of wounds by diverse ancient civilisations. Manuka honey is derived from nectar collected by honey bees foraging on the manuka tree in New Zealand and is included in modern licensed wound-care products around the world. However, the antimicrobial properties of honey have not been fully exploited by modern medicine as its mechanisms of action are not yet known.

Professor Cooper's group is helping to solve this problem by investigating at a molecular level the ways in which manuka honey inhibits wound-infecting bacteria. "Our findings with streptococci and pseudomonads suggest that manuka honey can hamper the attachment of bacteria to tissues which is an essential step in the initiation of acute infections. Inhibiting attachment also blocks the formation of biofilms, which can protect bacteria from antibiotics and allow them to cause persistent infections," explained Professor Cooper. "Other work in our lab has shown that honey can make MRSA more sensitive to antibiotics such as oxacillin -- effectively reversing antibiotic resistance. This indicates that existing antibiotics may be more effective against drug-resistant infections if used in combination with manuka honey."

This research may increase the clinical use of manuka honey as doctors are faced with the threat of diminishingly effective antimicrobial options. "We need innovative and effective ways of controlling wound infections that are unlikely to contribute to increased antimicrobial resistance. We have already demonstrated that manuka honey is not likely to select for honey-resistant bacteria," said Professor Cooper. At present, most antimicrobial interventions for patients are with systemic antibiotics. "The use of a topical agent to eradicate bacteria from wounds is potentially cheaper and may well improve antibiotic therapy in the future. This will help reduce the transmission of antibiotic-resistant bacteria from colonised wounds to susceptible patients."

Read more:

http://naturalsociety.com/honey-fights-super-resistant-viruses-naturally/#ixzz343xffTgf

http://www.nationofchange.org/honey-solution-antibiotic-resistant-super-bugs-1401803576?newsie=y

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mānuka_honey

SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS

SHAKESPEARE’S SONNETS

©2014 Kenneth Harper Finton

Shakespeare’s sonnets make me feel uncomfortable. It is clear that many people who claim to have impeccable taste really profess to love these sonnets. Since I cannot bring myself to love them, I have to admit that either my taste is not impeccable or I have truly missed something of great value. In other words, I am stupid. 

A film maker in Denver has made all 154 of Shakespeare’s sonnets into short video movies starring local Denver actors.  Of course, it is a colossal bore. How could it not be so? William Shakespeare wrote some great plays, but his sonnets can put a Starbucks enthusiast to sleep in minutes.

It did not help that this Sonnet project used local actors that seemed to be unexperienced in Shakespearean theatre. I think, perchance, that nothing stands more amiss than a semi-talented actor spewing forth torrents of Shakespearean verbiage. 

The first seventeen sonnets are brimming with advice to breed and propagate the species. Perhaps women liked this in Shakespeare’s day, but in a our crowded world with many women who choose to remain childless, these words cannot possibly fall on appreciable ears.  

Example:

“From fairest creatures we desire increase

That thereby beauty's Rose might never die

But as the riper should be time decease

His tender heir might bear his memory.”

Further, Shakespeare is obsessed with his own immortality. Even in one of the best of his sonnets, he holds himself and his verse up as immortal, bigger than nature itself,  more enduring that stone. Yes, his work has lasted for centuries, but I doubt seriously it will outlast stone. 

XVII

“Shall I compare thee to a Summers day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough windes do shake the darling buds of Maie,

And Sommers lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm’d,

And every faire from faire some-time declines,

By chance, or natures changing course untrim’d:

But thy eternall Sommer shall not fade,

Nor loose possession of that faire thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wandr’st in his shade,

When in eternall lines to time thou grow’st,

So long as men can breath or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

I read this and intuitively feel the wonderful play of words, but close examination destroys my capricious mood. What, I ask myself, is more lovely and more temperate than a summer’s day? I can think of nothing at all more lovely.  Maybe a cold beer with a pizza when you are very hungry. Surely, a summer’s day must be more lovely than this fantasy woman of whom he writes. 

Yes, I agree, sometimes summer is too cursedly hot and these rough winds that shake these so-called darling buds of May also make me shiver in my shoes. But if I were to tell a girl that she was bound to decline as she ages, she would likely slap my ignominious face. And if I told her that her best chance at immortality lies in the fact that she was recorded in the lines of my poems, I would not be surprised if she hit me in the head with a lamp. I would deserve it, lout that I am.

We all struggle to decipher old Will’s bombastic style. The archaic English, quaint as it might be, hides a dude that spends a lot of time writing sappy verse about his relationship issues.

XXIX

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state 

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries

And look upon myself and curse my fate, 

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, 

Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,

Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, 

With what I most enjoy contented least; 

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state, 

Like to the lark at break of day arising 

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Modernized and un-sonneted, it might read:

Here I am, disgraced and poverty stricken, invisible to all.

Am I the only one to hear my cry, my outcast misery?

Even God will not listen to my loud complaints,

My shoeless feet propel me on a cursed path

And I can only dream about a richer life

With bosom friends and hopes of silver linings.

So I am left forlorn, devoid of art, bereft of talent.

I find myself despising what I am

Until I think these happy thoughts of you,

That lift me like the song of a lark that rises at sunrise

From this barren earth of mine to sing a hymn at heaven’s gate.

The sweet and gentle love that we once shared

Comes back into my memory again and brings such rebirth

That I would not trade this feeling for a crown.

I becomes apparent that Shakespeare was basically a lonely dreamer with not enough self esteem. Only his illusory fantasies about a perfect love brought him out of his depression and into a manic universe of his own making. Today they would say he had a bi-polar personality.

To me, Shakespeare was a greater play writer than he was a poet. His plays are filled with quotable quips that have peppered our speech for centuries. 

Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend. -Hamlet

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing. 

-Macbeth

Yet, even the plays speak in a language that we do not speak. The urge to make them modern has been the fall of many a lame producer. They peel away the age of the setting and substitute the near present, but they leave the stilted words alone as though the Great Almighty made these utterances.

But Shakespeare – bless his pea-pickin’ little heart – gave good advice and this is where he transcends the ages and sparkles like a jewel.

“Better three hours too soon, than a minute too late.” (Many a dead man has made that discovery.)

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow.” (Though I struggle to find the sweetness in this pain.)

“There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”  (You tell ‘em, Will. These fools think they’re cool.)

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.” (Thinking makes this so as well.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” (Aye, said the Scotsman. And they are English to boot.)

“Cowards die many times before their death; the valiant never taste death but once.”  (Many an old soldier loathes that statement.)

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players:” (Timothy Leary thought so.) But then he goes on: “They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” (This started out great, but leaves me counting ages. Try as I may, I cannot get to seven ages. 1. Infancy, 2. Childhood, 3.Adolescence, 4. Maturity, 5. Middle-aged, and 6. Old. 

That is the best I can do. I guess the seventh must be Infirmity.